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  • Lauren Bentley

Don't Feel The Hard Things

In the society that many of us are familiar with, there is a very common thread that has been passed between each one of us, connecting us all in the same beliefs that we are not to feel the hard things.


If you feel comfortable doing so, journey back to some of your earliest childhood memories. I bet you can recall at least one time where you were told not to cry. Our sweet caregivers doing their best to support us, but what was ingrained in us was that it wasn't O.K. to cry.


As we grew older we began to explore the vast variety of emotions available to us, we can think back to what was considered acceptable and what was not. The lighter emotions, that many of us link to positive emotions like; joy, radiance, love, and peace were all celebrated. People seemed delighted to be around us, proud to be a part of this lightness. However, the heavy emotions like anger, rage, and jealousy were something to not be celebrated. Or rarely tolerated. We were often told to, "go to our rooms until we can begin to act right". Or other phrases of; man up, get over it, girls don't show anger, boys don't cry.

These phrases all became deep seeded beliefs that positive emotions equals good, negative emotions equals bad.


Fast forward in life as we move from adolescence to teenage and eventually into adulthood, these beliefs rule our world. When we feel the heavy emotions we are triggered with shame and guilt. "There must be something wrong with me", becomes our mantra and we seek answers outside of ourselves for help.


The Doctors give us pills to cope. We numb with food, phones, sex, drugs. We control with diets and exercise. We do everything possible to ignore the pain and push away the hurt until one day we feel as if all the running from darkness has actually pushed us deeper into it.


Where do we go from here? We heal. Day by day, moment by moment, we learn to meet ourselves exactly where we are at. We learn to feel our emotions and even express them in healthy ways. We learn that all emotions are intelligent and as we feel into them we begin to learn just what we need. We begin to love ourselves, set boundaries, and create a home within our bodies. We feel whole and complete- alive in every moment.


Of course these things take time. I recommend lots of inner child work, working with a therapist or coach, going to yoga, prayer and meditation. It will take time, but it will always be worth it.

For some support in this moment I invite you to listen to The Conscious Coaching Podcast, Diet Culture with Jillian Redrow https://anchor.fm/lauren222/episodes/Diet-Culture-With-Jillian-Redrow-enj9b8 and enjoy this yoga flow on A Conscious Community YouTube channel, Yoga For A Bad Day https://youtu.be/4x7PqXewP6s

Both will begin to highlight the importance of feeling and expressing your emotions and just how deep and healing this work is.


Lots of love,

Lauren


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